Johnson & Johnson (w/ Background) Fabric Face Mask

Yes, the most despised garment from the last 5 years is back.  I've seen many people wearing these cursed things recently, so why not resist this tyranny by using a mask in a different way to wake everyone up this time around?  Of course you can give these tyrants a real shock if they make you wear a mask at work or school again by buying some of our masks.

These masks are not for medical use.  When we looked up some pretty solid research into all sorts of masks we found them ineffective at preventing any disease or virus as the pore size is much too large.  In fact we found masks if worn long enough can breed all sorts of nasty tertiary diseases like staphococcus, meningitis, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, streptococcus, etc.

Facemasks are also the source of the dreaded mask-ne (mask acne) I've seen several people suffering from in the past 5 years.  Its such a bummer to see a beautiful woman and have her take off her mask to reveal Night of the Living Dead under there and a wave of mask breath waffing your direction.  That's the kind of breath all the mouth wash in the world can't defeat!

We at davidnoll.earth recommend wearing these masks only over your eyes if the mask is extremely clean.  Where would you want to wear these masks over your eyes, you may ask?  Of course you can't wear them over your eyes while driving, working or walking as you'll likely crash or trip over something, so please don't do that!

But if you buy a blind person's cane and wear them over your eyes when you enter a modern art gallery, it will protect your eyes from the horrors within.  You will also have the same level of vision when you do this that the 'artists' creating these modern art pieces possessed.

Just don't trip into some Basquiat nightmare painting as you'll probably owe the gallery a huge sum of money because he died years ago of a heroin overdose and that makes his art worth millions now.  Keep your blind man's cane close to the ground if you can and most of all avoid injuring these most priceless of humanity's treasures that are modern art pieces!

The specs on these are simple, they are made of 100% polyester, they have adjustable spandex and nylon earloops that come with silicone adjustment beads to make them fit just right.  Made with two layers of cloth to make breathing through these that much more difficult, these masks come in one size fits all.

And as always free shipping to all US addresses!

Wash instructions: Machine wash on cold cycle (max 30C or 90F). Do not bleach.

Drying and pressing instructions: To dry this mask, place on a clean non-staining flat surface and allow to air dry.  Do not put in the dryer, Do not iron, Do not steam & Do not dryclean.